


songs that we sing

by Microlight (Skylark), Skylark



Series: Songs [1]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Character Study, Dorm Life - Freeform, Drama, Fluff, Growing Up, If you only read one work by me, M/M, Romance, Singing, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-21
Updated: 2010-09-21
Packaged: 2017-10-21 17:50:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/227932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylark/pseuds/Microlight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylark/pseuds/Skylark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zhou Mi isn't the only one who wants to be an artist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	songs that we sing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kyuu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyuu/gifts).



> Inspired by "[The Songs That We Sing](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBGN9UBuk9w)" by Charlotte Gainsbourg ([full playlist](http://www.last.fm/user/lightandair/library/playlists/4ktyx_songs_that_we_sing)).

Kyuhyun really needs to pay more attention to his girlfriend. She pouts prettily and takes his arm, drawing him away from the classroom, from where a man with delicate fingers and high cheekbones is returning his books to the thin leather satchel he always carries.

Sometimes Zhou Mi will catch his eye once he's finished and give him a sunshine-smitten smile, but not today. Today, Kyuhyun chuckles at a joke he hadn't been listening to and follows after his girlfriend.

Which is worse: that he keeps staring or that he keeps looking away?

\--

Zhou Mi has always wanted to be an artist.

His father is a painter. His mother is indulgent. The two of them had given him voice lessons they couldn't afford and had allowed him to enter as many competitions as he pleased. They know how much music means to him; he knows how much he means to them. And so he sings, day and night, anywhere, everywhere. He sings.

It's one of these private-public concerts that first catches Kyuhyun's attention, he thinks. He is walking through the quad and singing nothing in particular when someone says, "Hey."

He turns, and Kyuhyun is standing there—messy curls and hooded eyes.

"That's pretty good," the stranger says. "Are you a music major?"

Zhou Mi shakes his head. "Pre-med," he says, brightly.

The other man frowns. "You're talented," he says. "Actually, aren't you in my theory class?"

He laughs and shakes his head, but really he's saying _Yes._ He asks, "Music major?"

"Architecture," Kyuhyun says, and when he looks up, his expression half-guilty and half-secretive, Zhou Mi's smile turns soft and genuine.

Kyuhyun steps back. "I've got to go. See you in class..."

"Zhou Mi," he supplies.

"Cho Kyuhyun." the not-stranger responds. He hesitates; then, "Right, see you." He lifts a hand and turns away, and Zhou Mi continues to bounce his way across the quad, his singing interspersed with chuckles.

Zhou Mi is not the only one who wants to be an artist.

\--

After class, Kyuhyun's girlfriend follows him back to his dorm room, where her chatter is occasionally interrupted by the crackle of recorded gunfire. He nods automatically, but his mind is mostly in his fingers, quicksilver and thoughtless.

"—Zhou Mi," she says, and his aim goes wild.

"What?"

"Isn't he in your class?"

Kyuhyun shrugs, but puts the controller down. His girlfriend beams.

"He's a friend of Jessica's," she says. "You remember, right?" His mind helpfully provides brown hair and a featureless face, so he nods. "She was asking if we wanted to hang out, since you guys know each other and all." She twirls a strand of hair around her finger. "When are you free?"

Without looking, he reaches for his planner and tosses it to her before the game resumes. With a smile she circles the Saturday after next and writes, _double date!_ Her exclamation point ends with a heart.

Kyuhyun feels a rush of butterflies, but blames it on gaming adrenaline.

\--

Zhou Mi starts to notice Kyuhyun after that first meeting.

He sees him idling on the sidewalk, frowning under an umbrella and waiting for the light to change. He sees him in the library, bent over his textbooks while the sunlight makes a halo of his hair. He sees him walking across campus with a girl at his side. (She's one of Jessica's friends—what was her name?—Sooyoung.)

But mostly, he sees him in class.

Kyuhyun sits one row down and three seats over, so it takes four classes until Zhou Mi is sitting behind him. He says "Hello" that day, and Kyuhyun looks up with a startled smile.

"Hey," he says.

They're starting the pentatonic scale. Ten minutes into class Zhou Mi leans over to ask, "What did he say?"

Kyuhyun doesn't turn around—he doesn't need to. "What?"

"The professor's going a little fast," he whispers, apologetic. "What did he say?"

So Kyuhyun becomes his translator, and he soon becomes accustomed to Zhou Mi's head bending low over his shoulder, a faraway look in his eyes as he listens to the timbre of Kyuhyun's speech. In turn, Zhou Mi watches as Kyuhyun's faint smiles grow wider and more frequent.

One day Zhou Mi whispers, "You have a good voice too."

Kyuhyun is surprised by the sudden change in topic, but says, "Yeah?"

"Do you sing?"

"I used to," he says.

Zhou Mi wants to ask, but the person beside them is giving them pointed looks. He murmurs an apology and Kyuhyun's hair tickles his ear as he retreats.

When the class ends, he hears Kyuhyun humming something under his breath as he shuts down his laptop. "You should sing more," Zhou Mi tells him, and Kyuhyun looks up, annoyed and pleased all at once.

"Do you ever _stop_ singing?" he asks.

Zhou Mi just smiles and shakes his head.

\--

Zhou Mi is absent next class, and Kyuhyun is bored. The teacher talks in circles and he relies on Zhou Mi's gentle interruptions to keep him awake.

The young man beside him nudges him sharply when his head droops forward, and he jerks up with a start.

"Zhou Mi told me to take care of you," his neighbor mumbles, his eyes fixed on the teacher. Kyuhyun blinks, then glares.

"Well, stop," he hisses back.

Siwon gives him a quick glance. "No."

After class, Siwon stands quickly, his duty fulfilled, but Kyuhyun stops him.

"Where is he?" he asks, not bothering to specify.

When he finally gets an answer, the tone is reluctant. "He's competing. In a show."

Kyuhyun raises an eyebrow. "Does he do that a lot?"

"You should ask him yourself," Siwon says, and leaves before Kyuhyun can tell him off (or thank him).

Next Monday, he asks.

"I like to sing," is all Zhou Mi says as they walk out of class. Then: "There's a test coming up. Do you want to study together?"

"Sure," he says, not really thinking about it.

And that's how Kyuhyun begins finding himself in the library with Zhou Mi until odd hours of the night. Zhou Mi is endlessly charming and Kyuhyun begins to respond in kind, relaxing as he becomes accustomed to Zhou Mi's easy conversation and ever-present smiles. In the library, Zhou Mi whispers into his ear and Kyuhyun whispers back. They sit shoulder-to-shoulder and Kyuhyun ducks his head when Zhou Mi throws an arm around him.

"You're friends with—Jen?"

"Jessica?"

"Yeah."

Zhou Mi cocks his head, a smile hovering around the corners of his mouth. "Yeah."

"Are you dating her?" he asks.

"No...why?"

Kyuhyun turns back to his textbook. "Just wondering."

\--

The whispers stop being whispers and they start to get kicked out of the library for disturbing the other students with their laughter. After the fourth time, Kyuhyun leans on Zhou Mi for balance as the two of them stumble down the library steps, and Zhou Mi says, "We can go back to my apartment, if you want."

They stop on the sidewalk. Kyuhyun rests his hands on his knees, still chuckling as Zhou Mi's hand falls on his back. "Sure," he gasps when he can speak again. "Sounds good."

Zhou Mi's studio apartment is cramped but impeccably clean. Kyuhyun scans the crowded shelves with a slight tilt of his head, lips pursed. Is he surprised? Zhou Mi thinks he's surprised, maybe even a little impressed—Kyuhyun isn't very expressive, but he's easier to read all the time.

He sits on the floor and Zhou Mi settles beside him, bumping elbows and hips. Kyuhyun peers over his shoulder as he opens the textbook and turns the pages. "Here," he says, "I'm having trouble wi—" He turns, and Kyuhyun has to veer away to avoid a collision.

"Oh, sorry," Zhou Mi says with a small laugh.

"It's fine," Kyuhyun replies quickly, shaking his head. Zhou Mi sees his lips quirk into a tiny smile.

\--

"Do you want to stay over?" he asks Kyuhyun. It's two, maybe three in the morning and he knows it's a long way back to Kyuhyun's place.

Kyuhyun blinks up at him with tired eyes. They'd long since moved from music theory to their own majors, and then to talking about their lives (Zhou Mi knows a great deal more about StarCraft now, and Kyuhyun knows more about the music industry than he's letting on, he thinks). The table is littered with textbooks, take-out, and empty bottles.

Kyuhyun shakes his head. "I'll be fine."

"I'm offering," Zhou Mi says firmly.

Kyuhyun opens his mouth and then closes it. Finally, he looks up with a defeated half-smile. "Okay."

Zhou Mi doesn't have a couch, and even if he did have an air mattress there'd be no place to put it. They bicker for a while over who will sleep where before Zhou Mi rolls his eyes and throws Kyuhyun onto the bed. Kyuhyun grabs his waist mid-toss and they end up banging each other up as they sort out the inevitable tangle of arms and legs.

"See? It's fine," Zhou Mi pants once they've settled. His back is against the wall and Kyuhyun is on the other side of the mattress (as far away as he can get in a bed so small).

After a moment of silence, Zhou Mi lifts his head. "Kyuhyun?"

He's being watched in the dark, he realizes; Kyuhyun's lips are pressed together. Zhou Mi responds with an innocuous smile, and after a beat, Kyuhyun rolls to face away. "Yeah," Kyuhyun murmurs, "It's fine."

Zhou Mi wonders if he's gone too far, but Kyuhyun doesn't move again after that. After half an hour, he reaches out and rests a hand on his side. There's no response, so he leaves it there.

When he wakes up a few hours later, sunlight is pouring through the blinds. Kyuhyun has turned back towards him and their eyes meet.

"Morning," he says.

"Morning," Kyuhyun replies. He starts to lick his lips, catches himself, then relaxes into an embarrassed smile.

The apartment is too small for one person, let alone two, and they're constantly brushing as they try to assemble breakfast. They eat from bowls balanced on the broken spines of last night's textbooks, and Kyuhyun ends up being twenty minutes late to class. He would have skipped if Zhou Mi hadn't pushed him out the door.

"See you later," Kyuhyun calls down the hallway.

"Where?"

"Here," he says. The elevator doors open behind him.

Zhou Mi swallows the _Yes_ that trembles on his lips. "I'll text you," he says instead.

\--

On Saturday, Jessica and Sooyoung squeal and tackle each other when they meet. Kyuhyun had expected that. What Kyuhyun hadn't been expecting was an equally exuberant hug from Zhou Mi, or the uncertainty that lingered long after he'd been released.

"How long have you been dating?" Zhou Mi asks.

Kyuhyun glances at Sooyoung. "Since high school," he says. "A few years."

"I met Sooyoung at orientation," Jessica chimes in, grabbing Sooyoung's hand across the table. Then she turns to Kyuhyun. "Zhou Mi was in my orgo chem class. He's such a sweetheart!" She pinches his cheek; Zhou Mi smiles patiently, but Kyuhyun can see the discomfort underneath. "Have you ever heard him sing?" she continues. "He's amazing. He wins contests all the time."

Kyuhyun looks at him, his old question unasked but obvious, and Zhou Mi ducks his head. "It helps pay for school," he says quietly.

"Kyuhyun can sing too," Sooyoung says fondly. "We were in chorus together." Kyuhyun glances away from her and finds Zhou Mi's calm, clear gaze.

"I've heard it," Zhou Mi says, never breaking eye contact, and Kyuhyun's stomach flips.

\--

Zhou Mi hadn't expected Kyuhyun to be a drinker, but by the end of the night his eyes are soft and hazy and he walks like the sea. Since he's too heavy for Sooyoung to lift, Zhou Mi carries him instead.

He smiles and waves as the girls get into a cab. Kyuhyun's head is pillowed on his shoulder, his voice worn at the edges as he mumbles words Zhou Mi can't catch.

"Sorry about this," Sooyoung says again. "Thank you."

"You sure you don't want us to come?" Jessica asks, and he shakes his head.

"Good night," he says, and waits until their cab drives off before hailing one for himself.

When they reach Kyuhyun's dorm room, Zhou Mi stands on the outdoor balcony and fumbles through his friend's pockets until he digs out his keys. As he reaches for the door Kyuhyun begins to slip—when he tries to catch him the keys fall from his hand and in a matter of seconds they're in a pile at the base of the door, Kyuhyun's laughter quiet and breathless in his ear.

"I like you," he mumbles, "You're warm."

Zhou Mi is laughing too, one hand curled around Kyuhyun's shoulders to steady him, but his other hand searches for the keys he's dropped. As he finds them, Kyuhyun leans closer and pins him against the door. The sudden weight unbalances him and the keys skitter away, jarringly loud in the stillness.

"Kyuhyun," he breathes, "We need to get inside." The autumn night is cool and humid, threatening rain. Kyuhyun doesn't seem to hear—just rests with his eyes closed.

Zhou Mi reaches up and manages to unlock the door despite the awkward angle. He shoves it open and they topple backwards, Kyuhyun's body on top of his own.

He sighs and his head thunks against the floorboards as he gives up, lying spread-eagled on the floor as Kyuhyun curls closer. "You're impossible," Zhou Mi says.

"Don't leave," Kyuhyun whispers, relaxing when Zhou Mi rests a hand on his head.

"I won't," he whispers back.

\--

Kyuhyun stopped Zhou Mi in the quad five weeks ago today.

He started listening for his whispers four weeks ago.

Two weeks ago the library became his favorite place.

He can't remember what happened last Saturday night.

And now he's here in Zhou Mi's house and he can't stop staring and he realizes: he is in trouble. He is in deep.

\--

"Next time, let's just use one bowl," Kyuhyun grumbles. Zhou Mi isn't sure he's joking.

Midterms are coming up fast, and Kyuhyun can't be bothered to go back to his dorm anymore. Instead, he pitches in for groceries, uses Zhou Mi's shower, and has claimed a tiny corner of the place as his own (two video game consoles and the necessary accessories, a few textbooks and notebooks).

Zhou Mi has never imagined living with someone else in such close quarters, but it's been a few months now and it's become oddly comforting. He's unnerved by how empty the place feels when Kyuhyun is in class or out with his girlfriend, and he leaves the door unlocked so Kyuhyun can get in when he's not there.

Zhou Mi reaches over to take both bowls away. Kyuhyun stops him, pops a last dumpling in his mouth, and waves him off. "Thanks," he says. Zhou Mi shakes his head, smiling fondly and muttering something about feelings of entitlement.

The next day, Kyuhyun plunks down with two spoons, two pairs of chopsticks, and one bowl, his eyes fixed on the TV show they'd both been watching. The two of them lean in close and eat around each other, interrupting the laugh track with their own commentary, until Kyuhyun scrapes around the bowl for a while and comes up empty.

"You ate all the noodles!" he accuses.

"I was afraid I was going to drink all the broth," Zhou Mi says. "Sorry?"

"The noodles are the best part! Why am I friends with you?"

"Why are you living in my house?" Zhou Mi retorts, and Kyuhyun doesn't really have a good answer, so he just gives his friend a playful shove and drinks down the broth in one go.

\--

Kyuhyun can hear Zhou Mi singing in the shower, his voice muffled by the water and the distance. He recognizes the melody so he joins in, humming over the lyrics he can't remember as his fingers twitch on the game controller. He gets lost in the rhythm of the battle and the music until he feels Zhou Mi's forearms rest on his shoulders. Suddenly, he realizes that he's been singing alone for the last minute and a half.

"Don't stop," Zhou Mi says, his dripping hair soaking through Kyuhyun's shirt.

Kyuhyun pauses the game and shakes his head. Zhou Mi settles in behind him, his arms slipping down to hug him from behind. His skin is damp, heated from the shower, and he smells clean and new—like he does at night, when they whisper until they fall asleep.

Kyuhyun leans back, curling his spine until he fits against Zhou Mi's body, and that's when he discovers that he is only wearing a towel.

He swallows.

"It's a gift," Zhou Mi tells him. "Don't waste it."

Kyuhyun closes his eyes and doesn't dare to breathe.

\--

They stay in Kyuhyun's single sometimes, usually on Friday nights when he gets cravings for samgyeopsal and the only good Korean restaurant in town is two blocks from his building. "It's why I picked this dorm," he says, and Zhou Mi knows what he means once Kyuhyun opens the door: the paint is fading, the ceiling is cracked, and the window faces a brick wall.

Zhou Mi's been here before, of course, but he keeps quiet about it (and he didn't see it very well in the dark, anyway). Kyuhyun dodges the floorboards that squeak and Zhou Mi follows in his footsteps, nodding as he gets the grand tour—single bed, kitchenette, sofa, PC, all covered in a thin layer of dust.

"Your dorm room is bigger than my apartment," he says, incredulous. "Why don't you just stay here?"

Kyuhyun frowns. "Your apartment is closer to the architecture building. And cleaner."

Zhou Mi laughs and reaches up to remove a floating mote from Kyuhyun's hair. Kyuhyun gives him a little smile, letting him; then he pulls away, saying, "I'll go open a window." Zhou Mi finds paper towels and Windex buried underneath the sink, Kyuhyun hands him a dust mask, and the two of them spend the rest of their Saturday cleaning.

But it's pointless, because the next time they stay in Kyuhyun's single everything is again covered in dust.

\--

"If I look at one more histological slide I am going to _die,_ " Zhou Mi groans, flopping back onto the pillows. Kyuhyun is sprawled on the bed with a pencil between his teeth and nods absent-mindedly, sympathetically. He's been dreaming a lot about flying buttresses, himself. And smiles.

"How much more do you have to do?" his friend asks. "Wait, never mind. Your major is as bad as mine." He rolls onto his stomach and peers at Kyuhyun. "Why did you choose that major, anyway?"

He shrugs. "I like designing things," he mutters. "I like knowing how things work."

"So become an engineer."

Kyuhyun takes in a breath. "Architecture is art."

There's no response, and eventually he lifts his eyes to Zhou Mi's face. "Since you won't sing?" his friend says. It's not really a question.

Kyuhyun shifts so that he's lying on his side, his head pillowed by case studies, and Zhou Mi's hands settle over his wrists. "I'll show you after class tomorrow," he says.

The next day, Kyuhyun digs through his file cabinet and comes up with a battered folder. He walks over to Zhou Mi and drops it on the table without fanfare.

Zhou Mi opens it.

Kyuhyun doesn't have a set style because he's still in school and he isn't yet sure what he likes, but he tends towards modernity, bold lines offset by soft, rounded shadows. There are a lot of practical, boring sketches mixed in with his larger-scale designs: several pages are covered in column studies. Every blank space is covered in quick, messy notation and dates that go back to his senior year in high school.

He leans in close to explain his drawings, leading Zhou Mi through his work until he reaches the last one—an airy thing, all glass and open space.

"It's an outdoor structure," he says. "A performance hall."

He wonders if Zhou Mi can see the push for perfection in the thin pencil lines, the research that went into the graceful acoustic curves. "It's beautiful," Zhou Mi says, admiring. "It's really inviting. It looks like a good place to sing."

Kyuhyun lifts the drawing from the folder and stares at it. He's not exactly a humble person, but he's surprised by how much the compliment pleases him.

He's been thinking a lot about sunshine and singing, recently, more than he should, and maybe it's spilling into his sketches, and maybe he's okay with that.

\--

He hears Kyuhyun's voice in the hall. "Yeah. Yeah," he's saying. When the door opens, his phone is pinned between his shoulder and his cheek and his arms are full of groceries. "I'll see you tomorrow. Love you too. Bye."

Kyuhyun dumps everything on the floor and stuffs his phone into his pocket. "I bought dumplings," he says. "And shampoo. Why do you use such expensive shampoo?"

"Because I like to look nice," he says, coming over to help him put everything away. "Was that Sooyoung?"

"What? Yeah." He opens the refrigerator and Zhou Mi begins to hand him things.

"We should go out with the two of them again sometime. Like before."

Kyuhyun turns away and slides the milk to the back of the fridge. "Sure," he says, sounding nonchalant, but he can't hide the line of tension in his shoulders.

"Okay," Zhou Mi says with a careful smile. "I'll call Jessica." But he never does call her, and Kyuhyun seems to forget about it.

Zhou Mi knows that Kyuhyun isn't stupid, but he also knows he can be kind of thoughtless. He _also_ knows that it's not really any of his business, so he keeps his mouth shut and waits.

\--

In late November, Kyuhyun disappears for three days. Zhou Mi starts with texting, moves to calling, and ends up standing on his doorstep. "Are you in there?" he shouts. After a pause, his voice is tinged with laughter. "I know you're in there—I can hear you!"

"Gimme a sec," Kyuhyun calls through the door, and the sounds of explosions and unearthly, alien screams continue. Ten minutes later, he opens the door to find Zhou Mi sitting on the floor beside his doormat, bent over a piece of sheet music. His long fingers trace the melodic line as he hums and a tupperware container sits beside him.

"Hey," Kyuhyun says, and Zhou Mi's voice breaks off mid-note. He looks up with a sudden smile.

"There you are," he says, bouncing to his feet and giving Kyuhyun a hug. "Where have you been? Are you all right? I know you probably haven't been eating, so I brought something."

Kyuhyun returns the hug, patting Zhou Mi on the back before pulling him inside. "The new StarCraft expansion came out," he says, because this explains everything. Zhou Mi frowns at him.

"You haven't been skipping class, have you?"

"No," he says, affronted.

"So you haven't been sleeping."

Well. He settles for giving Zhou Mi an annoyed, vaguely guilty look. "...I haven't mastered overseers yet," he grumbles.

"What?"

"Overseers. They're a Zerg unit that create changelings—"

"I don't want to know," Zhou Mi laughs, pushing some papers aside on the table before sitting down and cracking the container open. The smell of winter melon soup fills the room as Kyuhyun huffs and goes to grab silverware.

"Anyway, I thought you played Protoss?" Zhou Mi says between mouthfuls. Kyuhyun laughs, because at least he's taught him that much.

"It's the Zerg expansion," he replies. "Besides, it's good to play other races sometimes."

Zhou Mi listens as Kyuhyun rambles about base expansions and build orders. He tries to leave most of the soup for him, but Kyuhyun notices and won't stand for it. When they're finished, Zhou Mi asks, "So when are you coming home?"

"I'm almost done with the campaign, so...a day?" Kyuhyun says.

Zhou Mi tells him very sternly that this is not acceptable, which is how they find themselves looking for a place to put a desktop computer amidst the carefully-organized chaos that is their studio apartment. Zhou Mi ends up moving some things into the bathroom closet, and moving the things in the closet underneath the bed, and the things under the bed into the kitchen, which is already overstuffed but what's friendship without a few sacrifices, right?

Kyuhyun holds displaced boxes and blankets in his hands and follows Zhou Mi around as he climbs over and under things. He feels embarrassed, but plays it off with snarky comments about Zhou Mi's color-coded accessory bins. His friend laughs but doesn't reply; he's a little busy.

Eventually Kyuhyun plugs all the wires in and then they're done. He leans back from the table and turns to Zhou Mi, who is beaming and looking expectant.

"Thanks," he says, and Zhou Mi bobs his head, but the expression doesn't fade.

"So?" Zhou Mi says.

"...So what?"

"So _play!_ " Zhou Mi cries, scooting to peer over his shoulder. "I'm curious, I want to see."

Kyuhyun grins and cracks his knuckles with a flourish as Zhou Mi hits the power button. Then he IMs Sungmin, his online friend from Korea who's at least partially responsible for his current sleep schedule. He chooses Protoss, Sungmin plays Terrans, and Kyuhyun loses horribly.

 _lol what happened?_ Sungmin writes, and then after a few minutes, _you ok?_ But he doesn't answer because Zhou Mi's questions had devolved into a wrestling match two minutes ago. Kyuhyun is currently tucked into a ball, shouting "You're too tall! It's not—" before Zhou Mi attacks his sides and he dissolves into flailing, helpless laughter.

Eventually, Zhou Mi relents, patting his back and saying "I'm sorry, are you all right?" Kyuhyun shakes his head, still catching his breath. He drags himself back towards his computer when Zhou Mi gets up to fetch a glass of water. _Sorry,_ he types. _someone was tickling me._

_XD! I thought your gf didn't like SC?_

_What? No it wasn't her._

_...you just let people tickle you? o_o I didn't know you were into that._

_no! He's just weird._ Kyuhyun frowns at the screen. _He's the guy from my theory class._

_the one you moved in with?_

_I didn't_ move in. _He just lives closer._

There's a long pause.

_kyu. you realize what you're doing, right?_

Zhou Mi returns and finds him staring at his computer, speechless.

\--

Kyuhyun wakes to the sound of knocking. They've fallen asleep at his place for once and the room is draped in night. Zhou Mi is a warm, heavy weight on his shoulder, his breathing soft and deep.

The pounding continues. He hesitates, glances down at the man in his bed, and then untangles himself. Zhou Mi doesn't wake.

When he opens the door, his girlfriend is standing there. "You're not returning my calls," she says. "Why?"

She's thinner than he remembers, and her hair has grown out. Has she really been calling him? Kyuhyun can't remember the last time they'd spoken. Every time his phone rings it seems to be Zhou Mi.

She looks past him and peers through the shadows, and her eyes harden when she sees the long limbs tangled in his sheets. "I'm done," she says quietly. "I can't do this anymore."

She waits, but Kyuhyun just stares at her. She lets out a choked laugh and reaches up; her fingers curl into his sleeve.

Behind him, Kyuhyun hears Zhou Mi shift. Before him, Sooyoung lets him go.

"Goodbye," she whispers, and then she leaves.

Kyuhyun waits until she disappears before he falls against the doorframe. His heart is pounding in his ears. He knows he's made a mistake but if he had to do it again, he can't think of anything he could bear to change.

When he closes the door and turns, Zhou Mi is sitting up in bed. "I'm sorry," he says quietly.

Kyuhyun closes his eyes and crumples until he's crouched over his knees, fisting his fingers in his hair. Zhou Mi comes over, kneels down before him and hugs him. "I'm sorry," he repeats, his voice soft and trembling, and Kyuhyun thinks: he knows, he's known all this time.

\--

Kyuhyun vanishes for a week, and Zhou Mi lets him. He doesn't search for him, doesn't call him, and doesn't comment when he bolts from music theory the moment class ends.

Jessica stops talking to him, too. She doesn't try to spread gossip or give him dirty looks—she just ignores him entirely and side-steps him when he tries to apologize. He wishes he could talk to Kyuhyun about it, but, well.

There's nothing to worry about, Zhou Mi thinks. Kyuhyun just needs space.

He stares at his cell phone and tries to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut.

\--

Kyuhyun walks for hours through the swirling December snow, his scarf covering most of his face, and shivers when the wind cuts through his woolen coat. He takes brief respites at bus stops and random cafés, but never stays for very long. He needs to keep moving. He needs to make this make sense.

He stands in front of a music store for a few minutes before he realizes what he's doing. He barks out a laugh and hurries on, but it takes a while for the pressure in his chest to fade.

At night, he goes back to his dorm room and lies awake in the unfamiliar bed, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling, and listens to the sounds of life around him.

He realizes that he can't sleep without Zhou Mi's soft breathing in his ear.

He wonders if Zhou Mi is having the same problem, and finds himself hoping that he does.

\--

Zhou Mi opens the door and finds Kyuhyun standing there. There are bags under his eyes and his body slumps with exhaustion. "Sorry," he mutters. "I needed to sort some things out."

Zhou Mi just stares at him, asks "Why did you even knock?", and pulls him inside.

\--

The next day, Kyuhyun buys sheet music.

\--

Zhou Mi sings in a pool of light.

Music pours from his throat to float into the air, and excitement flutters in his chest. Blinded by the spotlight, he could pretend he is alone, but he prefers instead to listen for the hundreds of people before him, breathing only when he breathes.

When his performance is over—applause, wide smiles, a grateful bow as he takes his leave—he sneaks back into the auditorium to watch the rest of the performers. Another young man plays the violin, and a woman sings.

And then Kyuhyun steps out.

Zhou Mi begins to rise, but remembers himself at the last second and stays in his seat, watching Kyuhyun stand on stage, awkward under the lights and the watching eyes. Kyuhyun scans the audience, as if looking for someone, and Zhou Mi stares at him, but their eyes don't meet.

"Cho Kyuhyun, 18," the announcer says, "This is his third competition," and maybe he's not as new to this as Zhou Mi had first believed.

Kyuhyun opens his mouth and Zhou Mi forgets to breathe.

\--

Zhou Mi wins, and Kyuhyun is second. (The violinist is third.)

Zhou Mi actually lifts him off the ground when the competition is over, talking so quickly that Kyuhyun makes him repeat himself three times. Finally, Zhou Mi sets him down and cries, _"Why didn't you tell me?"_

Kyuhyun hopes the lazy grin on his face is enough to mask his trepidation. "Surprise," he says, and Zhou Mi cuffs his shoulder, laughing.

Zhou Mi wants to celebrate, but Kyuhyun is tired and wants to go home, away from the crowded auditorium and the flashing lights. They compromise: Kyuhyun orders take-out from the Korean restaurant and Zhou Mi buys a bottle of soju. They sit on the floor and sing until Kyuhyun's throat is warm.

\--

Zhou Mi's head is pillowed on his shoulder, one hand waving lazily in the air as he explains something. Kyuhyun stares at the bookshelves in front of them, not listening, too distracted by a dizzying mixture of alcohol and nerves.

"That's why I came here," Zhou Mi is saying, "Because the progr—" His words suddenly stop when Kyuhyun tilts his chin up and kisses him. Zhou Mi's lips are warm against his own and his eyes are wide, but it's too good to stop, and Kyuhyun doesn't think he's ever felt this frightened.

Then Zhou Mi's eyes flutter closed and his arms come up to loosely wrap around Kyuhyun's waist. Kyuhyun takes a shuddering breath and scrambles to reciprocate, crawling into Zhou Mi's lap and kissing him like a lifeline. Zhou Mi's tongue flicks across Kyuhyun's lips and he decides to stop thinking, stop questioning, stop wondering if this is—

Zhou Mi rolls his hips and Kyuhyun's brain turns off.

Kyuhyun's hands come up to cup Zhou Mi's face, making soft, needy sounds as presses forward. They overbalance and sprawl across the floor, tangled in a mess of snow-damp clothes and heat that pools where their bodies touch. Zhou Mi is panting below him, arms up over his head, eyes never leaving Kyuhyun's face. Kyuhyun leans down to gently bite Zhou Mi's lower lip, which is as close as he can get to saying _please._

Zhou Mi releases a breathy chuckle as he leans up, deepening the kiss. Zhou Mi's fingers inch up underneath his shirt and Kyuhyun can't believe this is happening, that he can finally press his hands against Zhou Mi's lean stomach and kiss his way down Zhou Mi's neck, feel him trembling and warm in his hands. Kyuhyun fumbles with his buttons and eventually manages to yank both of their shirts off. When he falls back down for another kiss, Zhou Mi bucks his hips. Kyuhyun moans, and Zhou Mi's eyes darken at the sound. His hands trail up Kyuhyun's spine to fist in his hair and tilt his head back, making him moan again, longer. Zhou Mi leans forward to scrape his teeth against Kyuhyun's throat, lips burning against his fevered skin.

Zhou Mi undoes Kyuhyun's pants and slips his hand inside. Kyuhyun hisses as long fingers brush over his hipbones and move lower, teasing the insides of his thighs without taking his jeans off. He presses against Zhou Mi, desperate for friction, and when he gets it—a slow drag over his balls and up his length to the tip—he groans.

Kyuhyun's hands falter before he yanks Zhou Mi's belt open. Zhou Mi's eyes shutter closed as Kyuhyun's fingers curl around him; he twitches, but checks himself.

"Move," Kyuhyun growls into his ear, and Zhou Mi's lips curve into a devilish smile.

"If you say so," Zhou Mi breathes. He twists his hips and suddenly flips them over, pinning Kyuhyun to the floor. Before he can protest, Zhou Mi rolls his hips forward and Kyuhyun's head falls back with a choked gasp, the sensation amplified by the layers of cloth between them. Zhou Mi's hand is slippery with precome as he strokes him, and soon Kyuhyun is rocking mindlessly upwards, moaning into Zhou Mi's mouth until he shudders and Zhou Mi's name breaks from his throat. His hand tightens around Zhou Mi, sliding down once, twice and then Zhou Mi is kissing Kyuhyun desperately as he comes.

\--

When Zhou Mi's head clears, Kyuhyun is slack below him, eyes half-lidded, mouth open, his breaths slow and even as he tries to calm his racing heart. Zhou Mi isn't in much better shape, but he manages to move most of his weight off Kyuhyun, their bodies still intertwined.

Zhou Mi opens his eyes again half an hour later when the cold floor starts to make his bones ache. Reluctantly he gets up and finds a new pair of boxers, then shakes Kyuhyun until he stirs. "Let's go to bed," he says. Kyuhyun grumbles and tries to drag Zhou Mi down again, making him chuckle weakly. "Kyuhyun," he whispers, kissing his eyelids, his cheekbones, his jaw, "Kyuhyun, come on, it's right there."

He manages to get Kyuhyun awake enough to change out of his ruined clothing and stumble into bed. Zhou Mi pulls the covers over them and Kyuhyun reaches for him, his still-damp hair sticking to Zhou Mi's skin as he buries his face in his neck.

Zhou Mi sighs and closes his eyes, glad tomorrow is a Sunday.

\--

When the world blurs back into focus, Kyuhyun first notices the quiet singing somewhere above his head. He's warm and drowsy and more relaxed than he's been in months, so he decides to lie still, listening as other man combs fingers through his hair.

The humming stops after a while. "I can tell you're awake," Zhou Mi says. Kyuhyun opens his eyes to see a soft smile, and then Zhou Mi kisses him.

When Zhou Mi tries to pull away, Kyuhyun rolls over and pins him to the mattress.

"Am I dreaming?" Zhou Mi laughs.

Kyuhyun frowns; he's never liked clichés. "If you are, don't wake up," he says before he sinks into Zhou Mi's arms.

\--

The last weeks of the semester are a long, sleep-deprived slog, and their conversations shorten as they both focus on studying. It's a good thing, because all the stress makes Kyuhyun's temper go south.

"Stop it," he mutters when Zhou Mi begins to sing quietly. Kyuhyun's sitting at the low table while Zhou Mi lounges on the bed. "It's distracting."

"Oh, sorry," he says. But fifteen minutes later, he's humming again—it's not really something he can control—and Kyuhyun slams his book closed.

_"Stop it."_

"Sorry." He frowns. "Why are you so upset?"

"I'm studying," he snaps.

"It's never bothered you befo—"

"I didn't have three finals on the same day before!" Kyuhyun rubs his face. "Sorry. I'm just frustrated."

"It'll be over soon," he says, trying to coax him into a better humor, but Kyuhyun just drops his head onto the table with a _thunk._

Zhou Mi hesitates for a moment before he asks, "Are you really unhappy with your major?"

"No," Kyuhyun groans, his voice muffled by his textbook. "It's fine."

"You don't sound very convincing."

Kyuhyun's head comes up. "I love it," he says, deadpan. "It's great."

Zhou Mi smiles uncertainly, studying him, and chooses his next words with care. "You shouldn't do it if you don't want to."

"I have to."

"You could sing." Kyuhyun's expression immediately darkens. "You could," he persists. "You're talented."

"So are you," Kyuhyun says. "What's stopping _you?_ "

Zhou Mi looks away. His reply is quiet and smiling. "I don't want to burden my family."

Kyuhyun moves back from the table and rests his weight on his hands. "Yeah. Same here."

"But you're on full scholarship—"

"Because I'm an architecture major," he said. "If I change my major I'll lose it." He waits for a reply and smiles bitterly when he's met with silence. "Do you understand now?" Kyuhyun says. " _I can't sing._ "

Zhou Mi's major hadn't been a difficult choice. He couldn't imagine a life without music, no matter what his profession was, and he'd been juggling academics with art since elementary school. But Kyuhyun had only joined his high school chorus because he'd wanted to spend more time with his girlfriend. He had talent, and he knew it, but he'd discovered it too late.

Zhou Mi imagines Kyuhyun opening his college acceptance letter, his face falling as he reads. He imagines his parents' practical advice conflicting with his growing interest in music. He imagines the months of deliberation, the eventual decision, the young man pointedly leaving his music books behind when he moved into his dorm room. Kyuhyun isn't the type of person who can be content with doing something half-heartedly: he does it perfectly, or he doesn't do it at all.

But Zhou Mi can't verbalize any of that, so all he says is "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Kyuhyun repeats tiredly. Zhou Mi gets the feeling it's something he's said to himself many times before. "I'm good at math and I like the work."

"But you like to sing more," Zhou Mi says.

Kyuhyun takes a deep breath. When he speaks, his voice is low. "If I say yes, will you be quiet?"

"Yes," Zhou Mi says.

He turns away. "Then be quiet."

Zhou Mi doesn't say another word.

\--

Kyuhyun staggers home after his last final and sleeps for fifteen hours.

When he finally crawls out of bed, he finds Zhou Mi frowning at the mirror as he adjusts his hat. "What are you doing?" he asks.

He looks up with a smile. "I'm going to meet someone," he says. "Do you want to come? I think you'll like him."

After a hurried breakfast, they head across town. Kyuhyun pelts him with questions along the way, but Zhou Mi laughs and refuses to say anything until they're standing in front of a small brownstone with wrought-iron gates.

"No. No way," Kyuhyun says once he sees the placard on the door.

Zhou Mi sighs and drags him inside. "You don't have to do anything," he says. "Just come and watch."

Zhou Mi's voice teacher is named Ryeowook, a university student who teaches on the side to make ends meet. Kyuhyun has his reservations at first—Ryeowook can't be more than a freshman himself—but they disappear when the lesson begins. He's shy, but his voice control belies years of training, and Kyuhyun learns several new techniques just by watching.

When the lesson is over, Ryeowook invites Kyuhyun to sing something. "You don't have to," he rushes to add. "Only if you want."

Kyuhyun is surprised to realize that he wants to.

When they leave, Kyuhyun is registered for voice classes once a week, right after Zhou Mi. "It's just over winter break," Zhou Mi assures him. "If it's too much trouble during the school year, you can drop it."

They're halfway home when he pulls Zhou Mi into a side alcove. "You're welcome," Zhou Mi gasps, laughing against his lips until Kyuhyun kisses him breathless.

\--

Six months later, Kyuhyun stands in a pool of light.

He holds the mic as he has dozens of times before, in rehearsals, in recitals, in local competitions as they've worked their way up. He knows what to do, how to smile; he's fearless now, on the stage where he belongs, singing without reservation to the waiting audience. A few hours later, Zhou Mi performs.

Kyuhyun is still an architecture major, but his musical career is looking promising enough that his parents are—hesitantly—supporting it. Zhou Mi transferred to the music program when they got back from winter break. His parents had laughed when he told them that he was going to be an artist and said, _"You're the last to know!"_ Now they come to every performance they can afford.

They both advance to the next round of competition. They walk out of the concert hall singing, Zhou Mi taking the melody as Kyuhyun dips for the harmonic line. Kyuhyun looks at him and smiles, and Zhou Mi smiles back, twining their fingers together.

The following day, Ryeowook tells them that talent agents might have been in the audience. "But we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves," he says. "We have to work even harder now. Only two people advance to the nationals."

They have four weeks to prepare.

From there—who knows?

\--

 _And these songs that we sing,_  
Do they mean anything  
To the people we're singing them to?  
—Tonight they do.

end.

**Author's Note:**

> ♥ thank you _**so** much_ to [](http://sciatherical.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://sciatherical.livejournal.com/)**sciatherical** for being the best beta I have _ever had._ Additional thanks to everyone who encouraged me while this fic ruined my life.  
>  ♥ I never mention it, but this is supposed to take place in New England (specifically Massachusetts).  
> ♥ My research said that Sungmin plays SC as well. My beta told me that this might be wrong, but I really liked him there, so I left it. Obviously this fic takes place sometime in the nebulous future when the first SCII expansion is released.  
> ♥ [](http://chrysa.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://chrysa.livejournal.com/)**chrysa** dragged me into this fandom (kicking and screaming) about three weeks ago. ;_;
> 
>   
>  written 2010.09.21 to 2010.10.01 // edited 2010.10.01 to 2010.10.08


End file.
